What is in the trunk of your tricycle?

So I am slacker blogger, being a Rational Mom is time consuming. My work from home job takes up a lot of my time but I am going to practice playing the role of Balancing Mom for a bit and see if I can clean up my blogging act in addition to cleaning the dried playdoh off the dog, cleaning the milk up from the carpet because Paivi wants to drink it out of the cup with the 1/4 teaspoon she stole from my kitchen drawer, cleaning up cat vomit, cleaning up my husbands 8 empty toilet paper rolls from his bathroom sink, and finally cleaning up the new website for work.

I am definitely enjoying the new job although I have to remove Tinkerbell stickers, goldfish crackers and various Dr. Seuss books from my desk in order to focus every day at nap time. I also have to collect my pens, papers and a calculator here and there from the trunk of her tricycle on a daily basis. Thank goodness my wireless keyboard poses a challenge for her little, insubstantial arms to lift.

My container garden has all but screamed for me to let it go but I refuse and water it ardently every day in the hopes that it might render me a small inkling of edible produce. I am going to blame it on this Texas heat and proudly continue to call myself a farmer.

We are going to the beach next month so Paivi can see the ocean although my husband and I are very sun and heat intolerant. I am super excited about the trip simply because I am ready to get out of A-town for a bit and to see her little face when she experiences something new is priceless. It is amazing what you will put yourself through for your children. I am sure we will have a blast but the amount of sunscreen I will have to purchase will exceed the cost of the vacation, surely. On a side note, our crazy, hyper and disgustingly licky 1 year old black lab will be spending our vacation with Uncle Chad and Uncle Chris who both despise her. I guess it should also be mentioned that what your friends will do for you is amazing.

As far as my identity recovery, I still have some serious work to do. I find myself going through the daily grind and not paying too much attention to myself. I wear the same style clothes because it is easy, do the same thing with my hair because it is easy, listen to the same radio station because it is easy, remain overweight because it is easIER and think the same monotonous thoughts because it is easy. But tomorrow is a new day and I am optimistic about what might be in the trunk of that tricycle!

Fear the A-Hole.....Not the Reaper!

Ok so here is the latest. We lost our garden! Yes, I must part with my dear baby onions that Paivi, her father and myself planted with such love, patience and manure. It turns out that the easement behind my house where the garden beds are belongs to some A-hole who wants to put up a fence and divide our property lines. What purpose will this fence serve you might ask? NONE, except to keep me and my family from using it for such fruitless endeavors such as utilizing the earth for one of it's most magnificent purposes....growing crap. Yes, that sentence started out lovely but I am bitter and bitterness overrides eloquence apparently. So, my onions are thriving despite my not watering them due to the recent rains which is even more of a slap in the face, mine and the A-hole that will be responsible for their inevitable demise.
On a lighter note, my amazing daughter is flourishing like nothing I could ever have imagined. She can now count to five, say some of her ABC's while you are singing the song. She should be the healthiest baby around because her favorite foods seem to be anything high in antioxidants......blueberries, tomatoes, strawberries, black beans, pickles. What? Pickles aren't on the list...oops. Well, she can't be perfect.
I was trying to find her a robe for when she gets out of the bath at night.....she prefers a robe over a towel.....and couldn't find one for a toddler under 30$ so I said.....screw the man! and made one myself. Check it out and tell me I am not Siouxsie Homemaker!
I had every intention of punking it out but the fabric (terrycloth) frays easily and I am concerned that I will lessen it's integrity. Who knows, maybe one day soon I will throw caution to the wind and princess it up with some black ribbon or butterfly skulls. I will keep you posted. Until then......she will just have to rock her little pink robe PQutie style which is cooler than any accessory I could pony up!

No Offense Hippies

Oh, it has been a while, I know. Lots going on in the Casa de Cortez!! I have quit my one night a week job slinging booze and it feels GREAT. No more late nights although I will miss my weekly visit with the outside world. Hopefully I can just switch the one night serving them with one night hangin' with them but if they still want to send me home with money at the end of the night....that would be cool. My husband would probably have a few questions (justifiably) but I can handle him.

Paivi had her 18 month check-up and the Dr. said she is brilliant. He probably says that to all of his patients but I like to think she truly is gifted.....as any mom would. She can pick her nose, sling food with her spoon and scream "no!" unlike any other child I have seen, so yes, she is exceptional.

I got my you know what kicked at Canasta again on Friday and while my mom told me I was not to blame the wine anymore for my card playing incompetence, she said nothing about feeding the score card to my beloved Labrador Syd in order to preserve my dignity.


Jesse and I are planning our garden for this spring. We have always had the help of Master Mike (our old neighbor) but now that he has moved....we are winging it and hoping for the best. So far we have purchased onions and garlic and look forward to getting those in the ground this weekend. I am going to wear lots of sunscreen as to avoid getting any tan whatsoever and wear a Ramones skull cap to protect my black hair from the bleaching effects of the sun. I will also blast some Alkaline Trio from the deck in order to dilute the hippieness of gardening. Paivi will be helping with our little garden by loosening the soil (throwing dirt everywhere) testing the soil (eating the dirt) and watering the plants (spraying the dog with the hose and then accidentally turning it on herself and crying) which will probably complete our cultivating experience for the day. But for a little while she will look very cute in her little pink Chuck Taylors playing in the dirt with her cool mommy.

The Hot Wheels Pusher

Well, we had a great weekend! Jesse (my husband) went and saw a local band after we had Paivi down for the night which left my mom and I to drink and play cards until pretty late in the evening. I got my ass kicked but was way ahead in the beginning. So, I can easily place the blame for my pathetic score in the end on the quantity of red wine that was also consumed in those final hands. That helps me sleep better....placing blame on something other than skill and the wine consumption!
Saturday the weather was so pleasant we hung Paivi's new swing in the tree out back and that is where we spent the remainder of the afternoon. She really enjoyed the lovely breeze swishing through her hair and Syd (our dog) was thrilled to assault each foot as it whizzed by her head from underneath the soaring swing. She got kicked a few times but the pain was apparently extinguished by the roaring laughter from Paivi as she was nipped on the toes. I grilled some hamburgers that my husband insisted I shove full of bacon pieces and after a little protesting, I obliged and they were actually very tasty! Every now and then he has a good idea...but don't tell him I said that.

Today "Crazy Aunt Amy" joined us for lunch and a trip to Toys R Us. I am trying to prep Paivi for potty training and was going to check out this doll that is renowned for aiding in the potty training process. The doll has a bottle as part of the package and when you feed the doll her bottle she pees. The child is supposed to witness the process and then grasp the concept of going pee pee. You know, little boys can witness their daddys going pee pee and see how all the equipment works. Needless to say, this is not necessarily the case for mommys and their daughters. Short of me squatting over the sink and keeping her attention long enough for her to observe my morning cup of coffee make it's great escape.....well, I think you get my point. But they were all out of pee pee dolls and although I really have tried hard to not genderize my daughter, the whole time we were strolling up and down the numerous aisles of dolls she was saying "baby? baby? baby?" so we got her a darn baby doll. I will still push the hot wheels and tonka trucks so as not to predetermine her role as a breeder. We will save the nature vs. nurture discussion for another night.
As for my identity road to recovery project.....I purchased a pair of vintage oxblood Doc Martens on line a few days ago and am anxiously awaiting for their arrival on my doorstep. Oi!

I have always had a thing for lizards....

When I was younger and still lived at home, my brother and I had a pet iguana. His name was Lloyd. We were very into Pink Floyd and that somehow influenced the naming of our precious new reptile. While he was a great lizard, he eventually began biting us and although they have no teeth, their lips are razor sharp and on top of that they do not let go once they have attached themselves. After a little research, it turns out our little Lloyd was not a he at all but a she! She was going into heat and that is what caused her to be so suddenly aggressive. So, we decided we should part ways and therefore gave her to a friend who had a plethora of reptiles already. Well, today I welcomed with open arms a new little lizard into my life. A Gecko to be precise and while they say don't believe everything you hear on television, you can believe this.....Geico helped me save hundreds of dollars on my car insurance!!! I am happy to say the I have left E-surance after they raised my premium for the second time and am now an elated Geico insurance customer. I am earnestly saving a little over $100 per month. While I am very excited to be keeping those extra pennies in my bank account, I sure do hope this relationship turns out better than the one where I was unknowingly rooming with a transgendered iguana.

On another note, Paivi (my daughter) and I had a great day today. We went to Barnes and Noble at the mall and purchased some new books for her and of course made a swing by the carousel. Although she has ridden it many times before, today she decided to cry the whole time and insisted on getting off of the horse requiring me to hold her throughout the rest of the ride. This is not allowed per carousel policy and although I am usually a mall policy abiding citizen, today I threw caution to the wind and unbuckled her as she clung to me as if the plastic horse was melting from under her. Decidedly disobeying mall carousel regulations.......if that is not punk rock I don't know what is! I am so on the right track.

Combining Me and Mommy into one stunning identity!

Well, 2009 was brought in by me dancing the night away, after the baby was asleep of course, to Britney Spears. What is wrong with that you might ask? Any one of my friends could easily answer that question for you.

Sixteen months ago, I would have scoffed at the mere suggestion that the melodies of Britney Spears would be filtering through my home's surround sound speakers. Even more preposterous is the image of me cavorting frivolously around my living room while lip syncing the lyrics! What has happened to me?

Well, I will tell you.....I am a fabulous new mommy! I gave birth to who is assuredly the most amazing little girl ever to grace this beautiful planet. While she is the most adored and of course important thing in my life (position being shared with my husband of course), I am left wondering how I got to that place that fateful evening. I have completely forgotten who I am and what was important to me before her long awaited arrival. The irony is that I dreamt of what a cool rock-n-roll mommy I would be.....tattoos, colorfully dyed hair, doc martens, piercings and of course a keen interest in the less popular styles of music. But somehow that didn't happen. I got lost in my alluring daughter and before I become one of those crazy moms who lives inside her children not alongside them watching them grow into their own....I have to get back on my own track!

I have absolutely no hair style, no more piercings (my husband jokingly says my boobs are boring without them), haven't recently invested any thought into my next tattoo design, am overweight and wearing ballet flats on a daily basis. Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous and although I am not quite ready to take "Womanizer" off my play list you can bet I will be upping the ratio of Ramones and Seven Year Bitch to tip the scale in the right direction. Today I took my first step on my road to recovery by lacing up my Doc Martens, sliding my fat dorky foot into them and ohhhhhh....it felt warm and cozy in there, just like I remembered. Then I strapped my daughter into the car seat and we went to Costco. Hey, there is only so much a rock-n-roll mommy can change!